i'm back !!!
yeah...... after like almost a mth, yah i'm blogging again,
asking y i abandon my blog...?
too mani things happened.....
dinwan to blog,
ppl reading might mis-interpret, so leave it blank lor,
been wasting my 1 mths time,
getting all wasted , late nights,
i'm just a wasted person.....
oni tis time round i din go bk to my old habit....
almost yes almost....
still cnt forget the day it happened....
dunoe y while blogging ,
all the re-enacts flashing back in my mind.....
scary, coz when i tot after a mth of emo-ing...
time will let mi get over it....
yet now....
soooo sick.... dun understand y,
i hate it, when i tot i have oreadi let go,
its still there
now i'm 1 person full of hatred,
i hate myself ,
hate him for hurting me,
simply hate it,
juz when i tot i have oreadi starting forgetting wat happen,
then i realise my phobia din left mi a single bit,
yet it has oreadi been my shadow,
realli all the doubts in me.... question mark marching up dwn in my brain,
tat feeling SUCKS,
1mth le... yet still haunting me....
end of the day,
my turn to the bridge,
my weigh of happiness has neva been lighter,
hatred sorrows r weighing me way down,
he asked mi y am i out drinking everydae
even wheni veri tired i still go out,
i cnt stay hm
wheni'm alone,
i thinking....
i dun wan to mess up my mind,
its oreadi been more then i can take,
its oni being out,
i get myself wasted, tots cum when i'm sober.....
i can't tink straight,
frends asking mi to calm dwn,
concern abt mi goin out everydae,
sicked tired...... where is my rest place.....
where's my courage to fight for my happiness,
tryin tryin tryin to avoid him....
he dun tink its serious,
oni tat chances given n given,
is no luffin matter,
now i finally realise infidelity is not the oni worst ting destroying a relationship,
there r other things tat can make 1,
感到又累又傷又害怕，
wall of fear built in defense,
haiz....
dreamt of bb3 juz now,
weird rite,
i dreamt i found him after 3 yrs,
i was blaming myself for letting him go,
is he blaming mi?
haiz, bb3 hope u understand the agony i went thru,
i'm juz 1 big loser,
tats y i say staying at hm gets mi all emo !!
n i'm pouring out over blogging,
tears on freeflow,
heart bleeding,
no immediate remedy,
takes time to heal , but how long, a mth has passed
yet still a new fresh wound,
the day it happened, my rashes all broke out,
it was extremely terrible,
went to see my doc,
he told mi,
medication i give u is to help mi on the outside,
on the inside of my emotions,
oni i myself can do it,
but....mi myself i dunoe how to.....
i'm hate to admit end of the day i'm still a lil gal.....
lover pat, tat kind of feeling sux....
everyone needs a shoulder to cry on,
everyone need a frend to rely on
when the whole world's gone,
u wun b alone ,coz i'll b there..........
pat lover...............can u help to push mi forward??
i wan2 stop dwelling on the past....
its sooo totally torturing......
mentally physically,
tormenting.........
dunwan blog.... i getting alll upset .....
byeeee
Monday, May 18, 2009
updates....
Monday, April 20, 2009
monday nite
i keep tinking its sunday....
as usual melody icon then sabai....
drink drank but nt drunk !!! lolzzz
am still so playful..
but todae so suay,
play wat lose wat....
luckily nt drunk !!!
saw didi n xiong,
so long neva see them
1 fatter, 1 "slimmer"
haven seen them for awhile....
didi say muz look nafter myself, coz my dad say so... lols!!
1 fun nite,
how can i misss out all the fun...
love my mdm my darling, my lover n bao !!!
love them to bits!!!
great nite out alto monday......
nitez ppl !!!
as usual melody icon then sabai....
drink drank but nt drunk !!! lolzzz
am still so playful..
but todae so suay,
play wat lose wat....
luckily nt drunk !!!
saw didi n xiong,
so long neva see them
1 fatter, 1 "slimmer"
haven seen them for awhile....
didi say muz look nafter myself, coz my dad say so... lols!!
1 fun nite,
how can i misss out all the fun...
love my mdm my darling, my lover n bao !!!
love them to bits!!!
great nite out alto monday......
nitez ppl !!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Drink Drank Drunk
wooooo hoooooo
yesterdae was 1 big big busy day !!!
woke up at 10plus, prepare bath choose clothes ,
went to tampines 1 mit upwif pat , joele nana
had lunch tok abt everyting,
and we were discussing abt our kids,
wat kind of programs to arrange for them,
how to improve their studies,
wats good for their development,
And among us,
it seems to me, pat has the most patience to "I"
i n joelle the same..... whn our kids dun respond to us,
we get agitated easily..........
when i try to teach glenn, mani times i juz feel like throwing the book away,
tats y i send him for enrichment programs,
coz i can't do a veri good job, so let the professionals teach him....
at least tats what i can do for him,
and hey, he does respond better to teacher,
mayb becoz there r other kids ard too,
of coz i tink is becoz 1 to 1 teaching mayb freaks out glenn.... lolz
shop ard at tampines,
had coffee, ice-creams..... woooo
we parted ard 6pm,
i went hm the bring glenn to his course
while waiting, i went jalan jalan again,
bot cleo , then rena sms mi
rena: wru
me: toa payoh
rena: y everytime sms u at toa payoh
me: if reali like tat then u oni sms mi every wed !!!
whahahaha tis rena sooo funi...
i oni wed go toapayoh hub wif glenn!!
then bring glenn hm ,rch m 9plus
relax awhile watch sum tv touch up
then pat came fetch mi n off we went to sabai!!!
All of us drink drank drunk....
played pat's game so fun, dunoe who will kena nxt !
all gan chiong n cnt blur....if nt kena muz drink....
when rch hm tis morning, i was oreadi walking zig-zag,
toking nonsense le
stomach feel so queasy n veri dehydrated,
tried to puke but nthing came out...
so change go sleep,
lols n i did ko until 2pm then wake up,
drink lotsa water.... n went bk to sleep !!!!!!!!
still feeling veri lazy.... uploaded sum pics to fb le...
i dunoe y , mayb becoz in disco veri dark,
kip on got ppl ask mi if l'm THAI.....
sooooo funi.... i'm sooooo singaporean.....
nxt time i should juz say sawadeeka... lolzzz
go watch tv loh..... rest early.
tml go visit joyce n her new born prince....
yipeee another baby !!!!!!!
CONGRATS !!!
yesterdae was 1 big big busy day !!!
woke up at 10plus, prepare bath choose clothes ,
went to tampines 1 mit upwif pat , joele nana
had lunch tok abt everyting,
and we were discussing abt our kids,
wat kind of programs to arrange for them,
how to improve their studies,
wats good for their development,
And among us,
it seems to me, pat has the most patience to "I"
i n joelle the same..... whn our kids dun respond to us,
we get agitated easily..........
when i try to teach glenn, mani times i juz feel like throwing the book away,
tats y i send him for enrichment programs,
coz i can't do a veri good job, so let the professionals teach him....
at least tats what i can do for him,
and hey, he does respond better to teacher,
mayb becoz there r other kids ard too,
of coz i tink is becoz 1 to 1 teaching mayb freaks out glenn.... lolz
shop ard at tampines,
had coffee, ice-creams..... woooo
we parted ard 6pm,
i went hm the bring glenn to his course
while waiting, i went jalan jalan again,
bot cleo , then rena sms mi
rena: wru
me: toa payoh
rena: y everytime sms u at toa payoh
me: if reali like tat then u oni sms mi every wed !!!
whahahaha tis rena sooo funi...
i oni wed go toapayoh hub wif glenn!!
then bring glenn hm ,rch m 9plus
relax awhile watch sum tv touch up
then pat came fetch mi n off we went to sabai!!!
All of us drink drank drunk....
played pat's game so fun, dunoe who will kena nxt !
all gan chiong n cnt blur....if nt kena muz drink....
when rch hm tis morning, i was oreadi walking zig-zag,
toking nonsense le
stomach feel so queasy n veri dehydrated,
tried to puke but nthing came out...
so change go sleep,
lols n i did ko until 2pm then wake up,
drink lotsa water.... n went bk to sleep !!!!!!!!
still feeling veri lazy.... uploaded sum pics to fb le...
i dunoe y , mayb becoz in disco veri dark,
kip on got ppl ask mi if l'm THAI.....
sooooo funi.... i'm sooooo singaporean.....
nxt time i should juz say sawadeeka... lolzzz
go watch tv loh..... rest early.
tml go visit joyce n her new born prince....
yipeee another baby !!!!!!!
CONGRATS !!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
sick
am sick suddenly, was fine before i fall asleep tis morning at 9am
then woke up 3 hrs lata wif veri bad throat discomfort,
coz yw was diagnosed wif a case of tonilics,
i quickly got up n took the lozenges,
it numbs the throat so i could go bk to sleep,
but wake up awhile lata wif headache, damn...
was running a temperature!!!!
took panadol quickly,
now i'm so afraid of getting secondary toncillitcs....
see the pic below... e.g of case of toncils imflammed,
see the both sides of white patches,
those r inflammed tocils,
systoms r bad sorethroat , painful till u can't even swallow saliva...
high fever, veri great discomfort,
i had mine removed years bk,
mine was veri bad..... due to my addiction i had every dae yrs bk...
had consistent fever,
cnt eat drink,
cnt sleep long, coz my pillow was wet wif my saliva
i lost lots of weight bk then,
seriously am lil but paranoid,
hope i 'm nt getting it again....
luckily glenn korkor is so sweet,
glenn: mummy u want drink water? i love u ok.
me: i love u oso...
then he lie dwn on my arm n look at mi.... so sweet of him !!!
am goin go rest le..... hope everyting will be fine !!!
then woke up 3 hrs lata wif veri bad throat discomfort,
coz yw was diagnosed wif a case of tonilics,
i quickly got up n took the lozenges,
it numbs the throat so i could go bk to sleep,
but wake up awhile lata wif headache, damn...
was running a temperature!!!!
took panadol quickly,
now i'm so afraid of getting secondary toncillitcs....
see the pic below... e.g of case of toncils imflammed,
see the both sides of white patches,those r inflammed tocils,
systoms r bad sorethroat , painful till u can't even swallow saliva...
high fever, veri great discomfort,
i had mine removed years bk,
mine was veri bad..... due to my addiction i had every dae yrs bk...
had consistent fever,
cnt eat drink,
cnt sleep long, coz my pillow was wet wif my saliva
i lost lots of weight bk then,
seriously am lil but paranoid,
hope i 'm nt getting it again....
luckily glenn korkor is so sweet,
glenn: mummy u want drink water? i love u ok.
me: i love u oso...
then he lie dwn on my arm n look at mi.... so sweet of him !!!
am goin go rest le..... hope everyting will be fine !!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Free tuesday
veri long neva upload pics.....
so todae upload sum frm hp first
there's still lotsa in the cam....
alot of overdue pics...
mostly clubbing pics...lolx
korkor at toa payoh having dinner....he so fair like yw.... look like mi??? korkor now more well-behaved then last time.... now u let him watch cartoon he can kip quiet for hours..
pic wif my mei, forget when le, but 1 nite after club i went hm, go inside the rm on the lights then she woke up, col mummy, then i took pic wif her, the funi ting is she juz wake up veri bright can't open her eyes....
still cnt open her eyes... hahaha i lub u lah mei...
was at sushi tei i tink..... or which sushi rest.... saw this in their menu.... ice-cream r sweet.... when it says salt ice-cream haha i dunoe i din try....
went shopping wif aihui, then went to coffee club our desserts.... forget the name le... but quite nice.... vanilla n sorbet inside.... nice cooling for hot weather.
aihui's was walnut ice-cream n cake.... tasted nt bad.... actuali dun reali taste like walnut oni veri light de walnut presence.
finally i n daddy decide to drin our ice-wine... its says 1 of the finest ice-wine... but i dunoe wor... i oni tot ice-wine sweet sweet n quite smoth so try lor
while chilling.... i like the btl lah...so slim n small., tis nice.... sweet .... nt veri thick like red wine.... smooth.... but drink lil bit can feel the ears veri hot le...
last nite at bkk thai, miss sanna joelle n pat....see their happy faces.... eve kip complaining abt s smoking to the bouncer n guess wat the bouncer took out a air freshener to spray ard eve.... damn funny lor...
all high le, except eve, she din drink.... coz she driving... last nite was a monday, but we had crazy fun juz like any other day !!
when i came out of the ladies, i sawher huiling, i was abit high le i saw her alone, but neva ask her much i can oni briefly rem wat i mumble to her after awhile i left le.... she muz have tot i was crazy last nite lolx!
snapshot of mona-lisa while waiting for joelle in the toilet...
aiyoh quanshen xtra lor.....
pat wat u all doin.... wan ask who drink?? joelle or quanshen...
yeah, we decide to push her to the extreme, got her on stage for her birthdae, coz sabai got this traditiion, birthdae ppl who goes up the stage.... choose a num frm 1-10.... if choose 5 u blow 5 secs frm the btl....wooo hooooo n miss bao zhu say 9 out loud.... powers de lor...
see eileen sooo pretty her makeup everytime so flawless de. n she slim dwn alot wor...
me n my lover.... we always have the same thinking de.... monday nite = t-shirt nite
this taken 1 wkend pat tat nite drink like her birthdae, waterfall drink everyting oso drink sooo funi.... she see she high le still can squart dwn n pose.... n she oreadi lost le hahaha she dunoe abt this pic till i tell her... so cute lah pat !!
at icon my aiai n lover.... tat nite we all drink alot wor... play 789 ,jian dao shi tou bu..silly game but can get loser to drink faster.
lover n me.... tat nite they waited for mi dwnstairs for 15 mins... but i oreadi veri fast le... lover u can understand de hor...
edna goh & agnes poh... she now on holiday to beijing n hk.... shiokness....
on a thurs nite, went dwn to melody mit up wif black paul, tat dae bad mood, angry wif tat toopid old man.... lolx... sweet tiffany..
wif nana the nxt following nite at melody.... i was high tat nite lor.... coz we played 456 789, damn.... so exciting... but if suay veri fast drunk, 4is pour the beer 5 drink half of the beer 6 drink the whole glass of beer.... 789 works the same for martell... wah.... is tamade xiong lor...
another wkend at icon..... wah seee i got so mani overdue pics, dunoe how i rem all lor... wif my mdm.. see the heart frm pat
saw yanyan at sabai oso sum wkends away haha all on wkend.... when saw her tat dae she abit high le.... she was toking to her frend n kip giggling away.... lolx after tat couldn't spot her inside sabai wanted to drink wif her....
this pic of me.... must b sum nite after clubbing rch hm take de... kekeke
:::::::::::::::
so todae upload sum frm hp first
there's still lotsa in the cam....
alot of overdue pics...
mostly clubbing pics...lolx
korkor at toa payoh having dinner....he so fair like yw.... look like mi??? korkor now more well-behaved then last time.... now u let him watch cartoon he can kip quiet for hours..
pic wif my mei, forget when le, but 1 nite after club i went hm, go inside the rm on the lights then she woke up, col mummy, then i took pic wif her, the funi ting is she juz wake up veri bright can't open her eyes....
still cnt open her eyes... hahaha i lub u lah mei...
was at sushi tei i tink..... or which sushi rest.... saw this in their menu.... ice-cream r sweet.... when it says salt ice-cream haha i dunoe i din try.... 
went shopping wif aihui, then went to coffee club our desserts.... forget the name le... but quite nice.... vanilla n sorbet inside.... nice cooling for hot weather.
aihui's was walnut ice-cream n cake.... tasted nt bad.... actuali dun reali taste like walnut oni veri light de walnut presence.
finally i n daddy decide to drin our ice-wine... its says 1 of the finest ice-wine... but i dunoe wor... i oni tot ice-wine sweet sweet n quite smoth so try lor
while chilling.... i like the btl lah...so slim n small., tis nice.... sweet .... nt veri thick like red wine.... smooth.... but drink lil bit can feel the ears veri hot le... 
last nite at bkk thai, miss sanna joelle n pat....see their happy faces.... eve kip complaining abt s smoking to the bouncer n guess wat the bouncer took out a air freshener to spray ard eve.... damn funny lor...
all high le, except eve, she din drink.... coz she driving... last nite was a monday, but we had crazy fun juz like any other day !!
when i came out of the ladies, i sawher huiling, i was abit high le i saw her alone, but neva ask her much i can oni briefly rem wat i mumble to her after awhile i left le.... she muz have tot i was crazy last nite lolx!
snapshot of mona-lisa while waiting for joelle in the toilet...
aiyoh quanshen xtra lor.....
pat wat u all doin.... wan ask who drink?? joelle or quanshen...
yeah, we decide to push her to the extreme, got her on stage for her birthdae, coz sabai got this traditiion, birthdae ppl who goes up the stage.... choose a num frm 1-10.... if choose 5 u blow 5 secs frm the btl....wooo hooooo n miss bao zhu say 9 out loud.... powers de lor...
see eileen sooo pretty her makeup everytime so flawless de. n she slim dwn alot wor...
me n my lover.... we always have the same thinking de.... monday nite = t-shirt nite
this taken 1 wkend pat tat nite drink like her birthdae, waterfall drink everyting oso drink sooo funi.... she see she high le still can squart dwn n pose.... n she oreadi lost le hahaha she dunoe abt this pic till i tell her... so cute lah pat !!
at icon my aiai n lover.... tat nite we all drink alot wor... play 789 ,jian dao shi tou bu..silly game but can get loser to drink faster.
lover n me.... tat nite they waited for mi dwnstairs for 15 mins... but i oreadi veri fast le... lover u can understand de hor...
edna goh & agnes poh... she now on holiday to beijing n hk.... shiokness....
on a thurs nite, went dwn to melody mit up wif black paul, tat dae bad mood, angry wif tat toopid old man.... lolx... sweet tiffany..
wif nana the nxt following nite at melody.... i was high tat nite lor.... coz we played 456 789, damn.... so exciting... but if suay veri fast drunk, 4is pour the beer 5 drink half of the beer 6 drink the whole glass of beer.... 789 works the same for martell... wah.... is tamade xiong lor...
another wkend at icon..... wah seee i got so mani overdue pics, dunoe how i rem all lor... wif my mdm.. see the heart frm pat
saw yanyan at sabai oso sum wkends away haha all on wkend.... when saw her tat dae she abit high le.... she was toking to her frend n kip giggling away.... lolx after tat couldn't spot her inside sabai wanted to drink wif her....
this pic of me.... must b sum nite after clubbing rch hm take de... kekeke:::::::::::::::
woooo hoooo finall uploaded sum pics....
yeah so happy....todae is 1 lazy tues....
last nite rch hm watch 2 ep then fall asleep,
but cnt sleep well coz veri dehydrated
kip drinking ice-water.... so shiok lor...
plus raining lucky cooling....
so sleep on till 4 plus....
but tink i still reek of alcohol...
lolx alcohol haunting mi.....hahaha
but last nite was definetly fun fun fun ....
n last nite joelle was telling us there's another duck shop kekeke
there's 7 in total in sg .... woooo
i oni know of 3....so curious hahaha
anybody goin??? smuggle me in...coz i'm strictly prohibited by mr cyw! lols
go watch tv le.....tata!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
tv tv tv
am at ep 67 now..... still got 14 more yeah !!
these few daes weather veri hot,
reali buay tahan, blast the air-con...
so eletrical bills oso on the rise...
goin town tml , to change the t-shirt i bot for daddy,
wanted red but the guy gave mi white...
am planning my kl trip,
ger is sick, want go visit her sooner,
been so long, miss ger so much
her birthdae is on my wedding dae....
she dotes on mi alot too....
so strong to stay there doing everyting alone,
gonna work out the date ,
she's going to plan everyting for mi,
yeah !! finally am goin to see her... so much to tell her..
gd nitez guys !!
these few daes weather veri hot,
reali buay tahan, blast the air-con...
so eletrical bills oso on the rise...
goin town tml , to change the t-shirt i bot for daddy,
wanted red but the guy gave mi white...
am planning my kl trip,
ger is sick, want go visit her sooner,
been so long, miss ger so much
her birthdae is on my wedding dae....
she dotes on mi alot too....
so strong to stay there doing everyting alone,
gonna work out the date ,
she's going to plan everyting for mi,
yeah !! finally am goin to see her... so much to tell her..
gd nitez guys !!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
mei is sick
my darling mei is sick....
so poor ting,
when i came bk frm mj at 3plus last nite,
she came out crying,
then few secs lata,
she vomitted,
then she start screaming,
mummy i vomit, i wan see doc,
n vomitted again,
she stand still as she wait for mi to clean up,
after everyting cleaned, bathed her, n gave her medicine,
she was running high temperature 2,
i ask her drink plenty water while i had my supper,
and like 5 mins lata,
she vomitted again,
this time all the water she drank,
poor lil meimei,
i cleaned everyting again, quickly eat n accompany her in the rm,
holding on to plastic bag in case she needs to vomit ,
she fell aslp soon....
today she refused food n complain of tummy pain,
so gave her apple,
but then she puked again,
quickly bathed her bring her to doc,
she 's got alot of acid gas in her tummy,
doc's advice to feed her bit by bit,
still running temperature haiz,
juz now she fell asleep at 10plus,
but woke up crying,
fever n tummy pain bothering her,
gave her medicine again,
let her watch sum cartoons,
pacify her pat her slp beside her,
finally at 4plus she's asleep,
ke lian mei,
she loves to eat but now have to control....
but she was cute..... i told her u sick tml dun go sch ok....
she say " yeah hurray hurray !" lols stunned
today glenn oso ask mi a question while on the cab,
mummy , kamila is frm which country? me: indoneasia
glenn: then aunty fely frm which country , referring to my mum's maid
me: phillipines lor...
glenn: different country but howcum they same color huh??
me: stunned n say erm becoz.....
lols tmd...... kids reali ask questions which i dunoe how to explain....
how would u explain to him??? lols
so tiring these 2 daes.... hope mei will b beta tml.....
waiting for yw to finish dota-ing then watch zhu guang bao qi
i wanna go shopping....... go relax lim kopi...
so poor ting,
when i came bk frm mj at 3plus last nite,
she came out crying,
then few secs lata,
she vomitted,
then she start screaming,
mummy i vomit, i wan see doc,
n vomitted again,
she stand still as she wait for mi to clean up,
after everyting cleaned, bathed her, n gave her medicine,
she was running high temperature 2,
i ask her drink plenty water while i had my supper,
and like 5 mins lata,
she vomitted again,
this time all the water she drank,
poor lil meimei,
i cleaned everyting again, quickly eat n accompany her in the rm,
holding on to plastic bag in case she needs to vomit ,
she fell aslp soon....
today she refused food n complain of tummy pain,
so gave her apple,
but then she puked again,
quickly bathed her bring her to doc,
she 's got alot of acid gas in her tummy,
doc's advice to feed her bit by bit,
still running temperature haiz,
juz now she fell asleep at 10plus,
but woke up crying,
fever n tummy pain bothering her,
gave her medicine again,
let her watch sum cartoons,
pacify her pat her slp beside her,
finally at 4plus she's asleep,
ke lian mei,
she loves to eat but now have to control....
but she was cute..... i told her u sick tml dun go sch ok....
she say " yeah hurray hurray !" lols stunned
today glenn oso ask mi a question while on the cab,
mummy , kamila is frm which country? me: indoneasia
glenn: then aunty fely frm which country , referring to my mum's maid
me: phillipines lor...
glenn: different country but howcum they same color huh??
me: stunned n say erm becoz.....
lols tmd...... kids reali ask questions which i dunoe how to explain....
how would u explain to him??? lols
so tiring these 2 daes.... hope mei will b beta tml.....
waiting for yw to finish dota-ing then watch zhu guang bao qi
i wanna go shopping....... go relax lim kopi...
